Will Durst

For Tiger Woods. A marriage mulligan.

For Hall & Oates. Another 500 or so casinos in Las Vegas so Cirque du Soleil finally gets around to doing a show based on them.

For Barack Obama. A reset switch for his Presidency.

For Joe Biden. Since his foot spends so much time in his mouth, mint-flavored shoelaces.

For Sarah Palin’s Publisher. More best sellers targeted to people who don’t read. Maybe an “audio book for the deaf” division. Cookbooks for Supermodels.read more

10. Governor Mark Sanford (R- SC) and Senator John Ensign (R- Nev) both found to have a bit of a problem in the monogamy department. The GOP breathes a sigh of relief that at least they were caught with women.

9. Beer Summit. Resolution sounded like the set up for a joke. A professor, a cop and a president walk into a bar. Because as we all know, beer fixes racism.

8. Swine Flu. To keep from defaming our proud American factory pig farms, government attempts to change name to SOIV: Swine Originated Influenza Virus. Fails to catch on.read more

Citizens of America, stay in your homes. The Minority leadership unleashed their legions of virtual undead to battle the White House’s economic stimulus package with a soul sapping single- mindedness and they’re still out there.read more

It might have been the shortest honeymoon this side of a drunken Britney Spears careening off of quarter poker video games in Vegas. I’m talking about Barack Obama’s relationship with the press after his Inauguration as the 44th President of the United States.read more

The Oval Office bonding picture is destined to become as iconic as that Vegas snapshot of the Rat Pack outside the Sands that people regularly Photoshop themselves into.read more

Okay. Other stuff might have had a bigger impact on America and the world, such as an African American guy whose middle name is Hussein winning the Presidency of the United States.read more

Well, now we know why she was nicknamed Sarah Barracuda.read more

(two guys at the bar) “I like the idea of a hockey mom. Kind of like a soccer mom with sharpened steel and a big stick.”read more

Tonight will determine if Sarah Palin’s Vice Presidential nod is unraveling like an old wool sweater during a brisk walk through a bramble patch.read more

The Focus on the Family prayed for a storm of biblical proportions to disrupt Barack Obama’s outdoor acceptance speech, and bless their little hearts, they got one.read more

At the MSF, the Miracle of Birth Center features calves and lambs.

At the RNC, it’s more about the Palin brood.read more

In which our intrepid correspondent picks at the bones of John McCain’s VP pick for some humorous gristle. read more

To be honest, this reporter hasn't seen this kind of enthusiastic confidence since Boston, four long years ago.read more

“How come they’re all great states? How come nobody comes from a mediocre state?”read more

So, grasshopper, you seek unity, yes? Well, my little duffle bag, lookie, lookie, lookie: we got your unity right here. The question is, how much unity can one party stand?read more