Stories by will durst


Avast me mateys. Off the starboard bow. Thar she blows. Chris Christie, I mean. And harpoons are flying in from multiple quarters. Back on the Jersey Shore, Hillary Clinton’s people and Rand Paul’s folks are both partying so hard, Snooki and JWoww’s buddies are banging on hallway doors demanding the noise be kept down to a dull roar.


Before the Oscars, check out these political awards. Best Choreography: Grover Norquist. Best Direction: The Koch Brothers.

Every time Barack H Obama says “compromise,” first person to stop laughing is exempt from drinking 2 shot glasses of beer.


The major party conventions are like baseball, with the incumbents acting as the home team, giving the challengers first ups; the reason why we start off with the Democrats in Denver on Monday, then shoot east by northeast to St Paul the following week.

I don’t know about you guys, but I am so sick and tired of these lying, thieving, holier-than-thou, rightwing, cruel, crude, rude, gauche, coarse, crass, cocky, corrupt, dishonest, debauched, degenerate, dissolute, swaggering, lawyer shooting, bullhorn shouting, infra-structure destroying, buck passing, hysterical, criminal, history defying, finger pointing, puppy stomping, roommate appointing, pretzel choking, collateral damaging, aspersion casting, wedding party bombing, clearcutting, torturing, jobs outsourcing, torture out-sourcing, election fixing, women’s rights eradicating, Medicare


August 2005

Bush appointed John Bolton to be Ambassador to the United Nations in a maneuver that sidesteps Senate approval. If you ask me, the guy should have been disqualified just on the basis of his mustache.

July 2005

Wonder which the President is going to rely more heavily on in the Supreme Court nomination process: the advise or the consent portion of the Senate’s role? Probably leaning more towards the go-to-hell portion.

July 2005

July 29, 2005

The White House is changing the name of “the war on terrorism” to “the struggle against violent extremism.” And the “war on poverty” is now the “tussle of insufficient funds.”

July 28, 2005

Daily Dose of Durst | June 2005

June 6, 2005

Quite a shock to find out the identity of Deep Throat. For those of us who lived through Nixon, it seems like only yesterday the White House was lying to cover up a bungled mission. Oh wait, it was only yesterday.


June 2005

The US Mint had such success with the State Quarters Campaign, they now plan a Presidential Dollar Coin campaign. And by the time you collect all 43 of them, you'll be able to buy an entire gallon of gas.

June 2005

June 30, 2005



Trump's politics are not the problem.

The fiery Milwaukee Sheriff is on the shortlist to head the Department of Homeland Security.

By Wendell Berry

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more 
of everything ready made. Be afraid 
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery 
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card 
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something 
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know. 
So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord. 
Love the world. Work for nothing. 
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it. 
Denounce the government and embrace 
the flag. Hope to live in that free 
republic for which it stands. 
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man 
has not encountered he has not destroyed.
Ask the questions that have no answers. 
Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested 
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus 
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion—put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come. 
Expect the end of the world. Laugh. 
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts. 
So long as women do not go cheap 
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy 
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep 
of a woman near to giving birth? 
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie easy in the shade. Rest your head 
in her lap. Swear allegiance 
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos 
can predict the motions of your mind, 
lose it. Leave it as a sign 
to mark the false trail, the way 
you didn’t go. Be like the fox 
who makes more tracks than necessary, 
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

Wendell Berry is a poet, farmer, and environmentalist in Kentucky. This poem, first published in 1973, is reprinted by permission of the author and appears in his “New Collected Poems” (Counterpoint).

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