The tide has turned for gay marriage.

On April 3, the Iowa Supreme Court ruled unanimously that adults of the same sex could get married.

On April 7, Vermont’s Legislature overturned the veto of Gov. Jim Douglas and legalized same-sex marriage.

On May 5, the District of Columbia approved a bill that recognizes same-sex marriages performed elsewhere.

On May 6, Maine became the fifth state to permit same-sex couples to marry when Gov. John Baldacci signed a same-sex marriage bill passed by the state Legislature. (In addition to Iowa and Maine, the other three states are Connecticut, Massachusetts and Vermont.)

“I have come to believe that this is a question of fairness and of equal protection under the law,” Baldacci said. Reflecting many people’s change of attitude, he added: “It’s not the way I was raised. … But at the same time I have a responsibility to uphold the Constitution.”

On May 6, the New Hampshire state Legislature passed a bill that would permit same-sex marriage. The legislation has been sent to Gov. John Lynch.

New York may not be far behind. On April 17, Gov. David A. Paterson introduced a bill to legalize same-sex marriage in New York. It passed in the assembly by a large margin on May 12.

“This is a civil rights issue,” Paterson said.

If you can’t legally marry, you don’t have the same legal protections and benefits as married couples. You can be denied hospital visitation rights if your partner is ill, health insurance coverage for your partner as well as inheritance and other death benefits.

Once, when my partner was hospitalized before she died, I was not allowed to visit her because I was “not her legal spouse.”

As Paterson, who is black and legally blind, said in expressing his support for marriage equality, “Anyone that’s ever experienced anti-Semitism or racism … any disabled person who has been … marginalized, understands what we’re talking about here.”

There is still opposition to same-sex marriage throughout the country. Opponents have vowed to derail Maine’s same-sex marriage legislation through a “people’s veto” and statewide referendum.

Congress has 30 days to review and potentially overthrow the District of Columbia’s vote to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states.

And 26 states have banned same-sex marriage. Lest we forget, in November, California voters approved Proposition 8, which overruled that state’s court decision permitting same-sex marriage.

Yet, despite these setbacks, the case for marriage equality has never been stronger.

As Justice Mark S. Cady of the Iowa Supreme Court stated, “We are firmly convinced the exclusion of gay and lesbian people from the institution of civil marriage does not substantially further any important government objective. We have a constitutional duty to ensure equal protection of the law.”

As people have come to know same-sex married couples, many have come to see that they need not fear marriage equality. As my straight friend Ruth, who lives in Massachusetts, said to me recently, “Our neighbors are a gay married couple. They’re friendly. We don’t think it is a big deal.”

Opponents of same-sex marriage are swimming against the tide of history.

Kathi Wolfe is a writer and poet. She can be reached at pmproj [at] progressive [dot] org.