February 12, 2002

Being a lesbian parent, I was thrilled to hear that the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recently endorsed gay and lesbian parenting.

The academy's report confirmed what I already knew: that there are more similarities than differences in the way homosexuals and heterosexuals raise their children, and that children are just as well adjusted in families with gay or lesbian parents.

The optimal development of a child does not depend on heterosexual parents but on the relationship between child and parent, as well as the relationship between each parent, regardless of their sexual preference, the study found. The best scenario for raising a child is having parents with high self-esteem, less relationship dysfunction and equality as a parenting team, according to the report.

I know this firsthand and from observing how other gay or lesbian parents raise their kids. My daughter's love of books is the result of my partner's efforts to read to her every night at bedtime. A gay dad I know made a conscious decision to be active in his son's school by serving on the school's management team, as well as serving as PTA president.

The AAP, the nation's largest pediatricians' group, supports legislation that would enable gay and lesbian couples with children to co-parent or to adopt as second parents. Its study says there are currently as many as 9 million children in the United States with at least one gay or lesbian parent. Unfortunately, the rights of gays and lesbians to adopt their partners' children (referred to as second-parent adoption) is permitted by law or by court ruling in only seven states and the District of Columbia.

Second-parent adoption is not legal in Hawaii, the state where Susan and I adopted our daughter. But we have moved to New York, a state where it is legal, and while we started the process of our second-parent adoption at the end of last year, the process may take up to six months to complete.

So, for now, I carry in my wallet a note written and signed by Susan that gives me the authority to make medical decisions for our daughter in the event that Susan is not present. Fortunately, I have never had to use it.

No one in my situation should have to. I applaud the American Academy of Pediatrics for understanding this.

Angeline Acain is the publisher and editor of Gay Parent magazine (www.gayparentmag.com). She can be reached at pmproj [at] progressive [dot] org.