So much for no-drama Obama. This holiday season we got an early gift stuffed in our fishnet stocking. Clinton at least waited until after his inauguration to throw us under the Straight Talk Express bus with Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

As you have no doubt heard, Barack Obama invited Rick Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration. Warren is the new breed of kinder gentler mega-pastor, who, and it pains him to say this, opposes women’s choice and homosexuals. Other Talibangelicals are furious at Warren for accepting the invitation. Or envious. Which is a sin.

In an explanation of laughably transparent disproportion Obama said, “Look, he invited me to speak at his church a few years ago. So I’m inviting him to speak at my inauguration.” Why not just have a hoops play date instead?

Warren had sermonized from his Southern California pulpit in favor of Prop Hate using the standard child abuse, bestiality and pedophilia lies. When gay protestors picketed his house after the election, he told a heart-warming story about how he had gone out to them and offered them coffee and doughnuts. Call me ungrateful, but I’d rather have my civil rights than a French cruller.

We, the 70% of the gay vote for Obama, are told it’s no big deal. It’s not a cabinet appointment; it’s just a prayer. And p.s. we didn’t get a gay cabinet appointment. We are told to wake up and smell the political coffee. This is what it means to reach out to the other side. We are told to grow up.

And we gay people keep saying we’re just like straight people. We are not. We are much more tolerant. We have been putting up with their tiresome phobia for long enough. What are they afraid of? Why must they drag out Bible stories to justify their fears? Quit drinking. Stop watching online porn for a minute. Go to therapy. Quit taking it out on us.

Let’s have some real gay balls after this inauguration. The gay movement is too big to fail. That’s exactly what they are afraid of.