“We’re the only ones in a neighborhood full of bleeding heart liberals. I told my daughter to take down the McCain sign and get the hell inside. ‘They’ll poison the dog.’”

(press guy at a souvenir stand) “$12 for a coffee mug?” “It will be a treasured memento, sir. Besides, money isn’t everything.” “Obviously you’re working the convention- not attending it.”

(two security guards talking) “So what does GOP stand for?” “I’m guessing… Government… Operations… Programs.”

“Sir, which part of ’No Food or Drink in the Seating Area’ do you not understand?” (hopefully) “The ‘No Drink’ part?”

“That’s one of those Snoopy statues because Charlie Schultz was from around here.” “I think it was George Schultz.”

(one female delegate to another watching Sarah Palin rehearse at the podium) “Her hair looks like a Grecian Urn.” “I think she’s going for the Nefertiti look.”

“Can you imagine having that screen in your rec room?”

(two guys at the bar) “I like the idea of a hockey mom. Kind of like a soccer mom with sharpened steel and a big stick.”

“It’s all about food with her, isn’t it?”

“Is it Pay- lin or Pah- lin?” “Pay- lin. Like the Monty Python guy.”

(two Arkansas delegates) “You see this? Something called the Log Cabin Republicans are holding a ‘Gay ‘Ol Reception’ tonight.” “Gay Republicans? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?” “I bet they like opera.” “Well, there’s two reasons for them to keep the &#*% out of Arkansas.”