• Oxygen inhalers to counteract altitude poisoning.

• Extra bumps on my credit card for price of admission to John Elway Museum when convention gets really boring, which means pretty much any time during the four days.

• “How To Speak Delaware” to figure out what the hell Joe Biden is talking about.

• A Colorado Rockies hat for Barack Obama.

• A pair of basketballs for Jesse Jackson on behalf of Barack Obama.

• A really sharp stick in case either one of the last 2 Democratic Vice Presidential nominees try to show up.
• Hair spray for Joe Biden’s hair.

• “Free Kwame Kilpatrick!” sweatshirt.

• Lots and lots of Vivarin.

• Shorts, hiking boots and down vest in order to blend in outside the convention hall.

• Grey ponytail and comfortable shoes in order to blend in inside the convention center.

• One of Hillary’s pantsuits for Michelle Obama. Not the weird blue one.

• “Best of The Eagles” CD.

• A pair of stridency shock collars for both Bill & Hillary Clinton.

• A chamois in case Tipper Gore’s hair helmet needs a quick shine.

• Earplugs in case I get caught on elevator with Chris Mathews.

• “Democrats Used To Do It From The Left But Not So Much Anymore” t- shirt.

• Portable personal industrial strength espresso machine in feeble attempt to stay alert.

Political comedian Will Durst is covering the conventions for progressive.org.