Will Durst's comments and joke on the events of March 2008...

March 27, 2008

You got to give Chelsea Clinton credit for answering a question about Monica Lewinsky and not telling the person to “Blow it out your ass.” Just another reason why it’s a good thing I’m not a politician.

March 26, 2008

A co-chairman of Barack Obama’s campaign accused Bill Clinton of McCarthyism. Well, Bill and Joe do share the same nickname: Tailgunne

March 25, 2008

In order to prove she’s the most effective agent of change, Hillary Clinton is determined to change her positions on a daily basis.

March 24, 2008

John McCain mixed up Shiites and Sunnis. Or did he? This might just be a clever campaign ploy to nail down that vital swing vote consisting of people who don’t pay attention.

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Chinese authorities continue to blame the Tibetan monks for instigating the violence in Tibet. Yeah, because who hasn’t heard of the vicious ways of the Buddhist monks?

March 21, 2008

Easter is the best holiday. Christ comes out of the cave, sees his shadow and baseball season starts. Play Ball.

March 20, 2008

After getting out of prison, Jack Kevorkian now plans to run for Congress in Michigan. Doesn’t that reverse the usual chronology?

March 19, 2008

Isn’t that just like a Democrat? Flies her down from New York. Puts her up at the Mayflower. Pays her 5 grand a pop. The Republican? He tries to get it for free in an airport bathroom stall. Now, that’s fiscal responsibility.

March 18, 2008

We should have known. The guy’s name is Spitzer for crum’s sake. Sounds like some sort of fluid based fetish. “Don’t mess with that guy. He’s an inveterate spitz

March 17, 2008

Vice President Dick Cheney made his third unannounced visit to Iraq. Only two more and he equals his Vietnam deferments.

March 15, 2008

John McCain is anxious to prove he can attract both moderate white Republicans and not so moderate white Republicans.

March 14, 2008

Astronomers predicted the earth will disintegrate in 7.59 billion years. The good news is by then either Hillary or Obama will probably have the Democratic nomination nailed down.

March 13, 2008

George Bush sent Dick Cheney to the MidEast on a Peace Mission. Dick Cheney. On a Peace Mission. Like putting a dyspeptic coyote in charge of bunny feeding.

March 12, 2008

New York Governor Elliott Spitzer is accused of violating the Mann Act by transporting a New York prostitute to Washington DC. One thing you have to say, he’s always been an Empire State Booster.

March 11, 2008

George Bush vetoed the torture ban bill, reinforcing his reputation as not a divider, but a waterboarding uniter.

March 10, 2008

After calling Hillary Clinton “a monster,” an Obama staffer resigned. She further denied ever suggesting her defeat might be best accomplished by tossing a bucket of water on her.

March 8, 2008

Brazenly defying logic, momentum, expectations, poll numbers, gravity, and the old wives’ advice not to venture into the water within an hour of eating, Hillary Clinton unaccountably still lives.... She’s like one of those zombies in a John Carpenter movie that you shoot and stab and knock upside the head with a nail studded two by four dipped in some rare poisonous South American toad secretion. And she just keeps
coming at you. Slowly she turns. Inch by inch. Step by step. I don’t know if she sold her soul to the devil, or Bill had unnatural congress with a Voodoo Queen, or the voters in Texas and Ohio were subjected to subliminal messages in their cereal ads, or what. Perhaps she’s just plucky. She walks the earth as one of the undead.

March 7, 2008

Cindy McCain should refrain from wearing white. Makes her look too much like John’s attending nurse.

March 6, 2008

John McCain went to the White House to get George Bush’s blessing and both smiles were so tight you could hear the enamel cracking.

March 5, 2008

Evangelicals are expressing concern that John McCain might change the direction of the Republican Party to one of less intolerance.

March 4, 2008

Hillary Clinton is hoping she has convinced voters in both Ohio and Texas that she is someone who can straddle the fence on Day One.

March 3, 2008

Ralph Nader. Like a leftier Dennis Kucinich minus the hot wife and massive groundswell of public support.