Will Durst's comments and joke on the events of January 2008...

January 24, 2008

The Academy Award Nominations were released, but incredibly, Mitt Romney’s portrayal of a caring and concerned individual was totally ignored.

January 23, 2008

Former Tennessee Senator Fred Thompson is the latest Republican to drop out of the race for the Presidency. You know, if the GOP keeps losing candidates at this rate, it won’t be long before they won’t have anyone left running.

January 22, 2008

Curiously, two names you never hear mentioned in the Republican Presidential pageant are “George” and “Bush.” The President is studiously being avoided like a broken pallet of eight penny nails in the center lane of the Beltway. Among the names that do crop up on the campaign trail more often than that of Herbert Walker’s son, are Barry Goldwater, John Wayne Gacy and Bjork.

January 21, 2008

Romney has gone so far as to appropriate Reagan’s bulletproof hair, undoubtedly garnering the Secret Service’s endorsement due to the added protection his hard candy shell would provide in the unlikely event he adopts a single position long enough to get a bead on.

January 17, 2008

Some FBI wiretaps have been canceled due to lack of payment. Which has caused Britney Spears to accuse the government of irresponsibility.

January 16, 2008

Pollsters are insisting their New Hampshire numbers were correct; it was the people who screwed up by voting wrong. And you know, it wouldn’t be the first time.

January 15, 2008

John Kerry endorsed Barack Obama last week and you don’t know how much back stage maneuvering the Clinton camp had to navigate to get this done.

January 11, 2008

John McCain is superstitious. He stayed in the same room in the same hotel in New Hampshire as when he won here in 2000. Wore the same clothes. Held his victory
party in the same place. I imagine he might develop a new routine for South Carolina.

January 10, 2008

New Hampshire youths were overwhelmingly in favor of Obama. And if more of them had woken up and voted, he might have won.

January 9, 2008

At 71, you can hardly call John McCain a kid anymore, so I guess he’s the Comeback Coot.

January 8, 2008

After the success of the Oprah/ Obama tour, other campaigns are seeking similar daytime TV celebs combos. I’m thinking Hillary/ Judge Judy, or would that be redundant?

January 7, 2008

President Bush heads off this week on a nine day Mid East trip, which is destined to be mired in apprehension and complexity. And that’s just learning how to pronounce the names.

January 6, 2008

The whole damn state of Iowa is littered with the detritus of winners. Iowa is winner-tastic.

Obviously, Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee are winners because… well, they won. And that’s what winners do: they win.

But you’d also have to say that John Edwards and Mitt Romney are winners too, because even though they came in second, they called themselves winners, and as big time national politicos- you got to assume they know what they’re talking about.

Hillary Clinton is apparently a winner, because in her speech, after coming in third, she never gave the slightest impression she hadn’t won, so maybe she knows something the rest of us don’t, which is another characteristic trait of winners.

Fred Thompson won because he came in third after canvassing the state with the energy of a three-legged tortoise on reds.

John McCain won because he spent no time in Iowa at all and still came in fourth. Which, in some books, makes him a double winner.

Ron Paul is a big winner coming in a strong fifth, if there is such a thing, when most experts didn’t even expect him to be able to find Iowa on a map.

Rudy Giuliani, the Mayor of 9/11, won, because he spent no money in Iowa, which can now be used to frighten people in states with more foreigners.

Bill Richardson wasn’t really try to win anyhow, and he didn’t, so he’s a winner.

Joe Biden and Christopher Dodd may be the biggest winners because they don’t have to do this anymore.

Duncan Hunter is what you call a winner in reverse, since he polled just 500 votes. Which is only 500 votes more than you or I got, and we weren’t even
running. Which certainly makes us winners.

January 4, 2008

All these politicians keep talking about change. But they won’t tell us what kind of change. Not all change is positive, you know. A hurricane is a change in the weather. A mole changing colors; not good.

January 3, 2008

Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee demonstrated how he hates negative campaigning by showing journalists the negative ad he refuses to air. Kind of like proving your virginity by parading the hooker you won’t screw.

January 1, 2008

Her staff seems intent on trying to make Hillary cuddly. Good luck. Hillary is to cuddly what porcupine pelts are to pre-school day care pillow cases.