January 31, 2006

The Hamas Party. Boy, there’s an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one.

January 31, 2006

The Hamas Party. Boy, there’s an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one.

January 30, 2006

Disney announced a plan to make films in China. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when a brutal ruling authority used to oppressing its people with poor pay and inhuman conditions meets a communist country.

January 27, 2006

Justice Department prosecutors are not expected to try and link President Bush to either the Libby or Abramoff scandals. They realize “the President knows nothing” is a phrase with a lot of credibility with prospective jurors.

January 26, 2006

Scooter Libby is expected to go to jail. Which means leaving a world of politicians and lobbyists moving into an environment of thugs and criminals, so not too much of a culture shock.

January 25, 2006

President Bush announced plans to personally get involved in the combat against bird flu. I guess we can expect him to run the operation from the Alabama National Guard again.

January 24, 2006

Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah has plans to modernize his country, which probably means personal seat licenses for the stadium where the public beheadings are held.

January 23, 2006

The Republican Congress is ready to push through lobbyist reform. Although direct deposit will still be a viable option.

January 20, 2006

Dick Cheney was given a clear bill of health by doctors at the Bethesda Naval hospital. Bet he hasn't felt this relieved since getting his 5th deferment.

January 19, 2006

Since we are at war, George Bush claims to have special powers. If only the power of concentration were among them.

January 18, 2006

Whenever I see George Bush speak while Dick Cheney drinks a glass of water, I can’t help but silently applaud.

January 17, 2006

Wal-Mart is resisting efforts by the state of Maryland to have the corporate giant step up their workers’ health contribution to 8%. In other news, Wal-Mart workers failed in their quest to keep from having to call their bosses “Massah.”

January 16, 2006

How much of an honor to Martin Luther King is it when bedding stores use the holiday as a way to promote sheet sales?

January 13, 2006

Lot of speculation as to how Dick Cheney hurt his foot. Wrenching it while trying to remove it from Scooter Libby’s ass leads the list.

January 12, 2006

Lobbyist Jack Abramoff’s legal fees are going to be astronomical. He might even be forced to lay off a couple of Republican Senators.

January 11, 2006

I’m wondering if Bush’s NSA eavesdropping plan innocently stemmed from a New Year’s resolution to become a better listener.

January 10, 2006

Arnold Schwarzenegger received 15 stitches in his lip after an altercation with a Volvo while he was on his motorcycle with his son in a sidecar. I’m guessing he only needed five stitches until Maria found out.

January 6, 2006

A new book reports the CIA ignored information that said Iraq no longer had a WMD program, which is surprising in the same way as discovering that getting hit in the head with a hammer hurts.

January 5, 2006

Supreme Court Nominee Samuel Alito has a blend of coffee named after him at a Newark, New Jersey, coffee roaster. Its called Bold Justice, although I think Right Wing Wake Up Call has a better ring.

January 4, 2006

John Kerry is positioning himself for another Presidential run in 2008 apparently unaware of the paragraph in the 23rd Amendment that says if you ran that bad once, you aren’t allowed to run again. It's called the Dukakis Codicil.

January 3, 2006

Donald Rumsfeld says we can bring our troops home from Iraq “if conditions permit.” That also applies to our troops in Korea. And they’ll come home as soon as conditions permit.

January 2, 2006

George Bush said US troops will not leave Iraq until “victory is achieved.” He then redefined the term “victory” to include losing and running away.