February 29, 2008

The New York Times intimates John McCain had a romantic relationship with a lobbyist. McCain wants a retraction. Barack Obama wants an investigation and Bill Clinton wants a phone number.

February 28, 2008

You could say that the electorate is less than excited Ralph Nader is running again. You could also say porcupine quills make inadequate pillow stuffing for day- care nap time.

February 27, 2008

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton engaged in their 20th debate together and god, it was riveting. Like listening to golf on the radio in Mandarin.

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Huckabee, this Energizer Razorback Bunny, refuses to give up. As the former portly former governor from Arkansas says, we’ve entered the “survival of the fittest” phase of the election. Strange talk from a man who doesn’t believe in evolution.

February 26, 2008

SMU announced they will build a $200 million George W. Bush Presidential Library. Wow. Sounds like a lot of money to spend on a shelf.

February 25, 2008

Ralph Nader announced he’s running for President again for the fourth time. Shouldn’t the three strikes law apply here?

February 22, 2008

I’m glad Mitt Romney is out of the race. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and all, but he looks too much like the President in every disaster movie. As the killer asteroid approaches, President Romney encourages us all to remain calm.

February 21, 2008

The reason they call it the Dream Ticket is because if you even for a minute, believe that America would elect a black man and a woman at the same time, you’re dreaming.

February 20, 2008

According to recent polls, the Democrats think they have a lock on the election this fall. I haven’t seen them this excited since John Kerry had a lock four years ago.

February 19, 2008

Wonder what John McCain’s campaign slogan will be? I’m guessing a variation on something like: “Hey, you punks, get off my lawn

February 18, 2008

President’s Day is the holiday we celebrate all the great men who have led this fine country. Fittingly, George Bush has the day off.

February 15, 2008

Hillary Clinton said she plans to build a new energy industry in Texas AND in America. At least she recognizes the two have little to do with one another.

February 14, 2008

The Republicans are left with a candidate who believes that dinosaurs lived at the same time as men, and another who can personally refute that belief since he was there.

February 13, 2008

Mike Huckabee says he doesn’t believe in poll numbers, but he does believe in miracles. Apparently he expects God to smite John McCain dead.

February 12, 2008

Congress signed off on the stimulus package which will give most Americans $600 apiece. A rebate during an election year. They’re bribing us with our own money. Can they do that?

February 11, 2008

Hillary Clinton has replaced her campaign manager. In related news, the White Star Line is now selling replica Titanic deck chairs.

February 7, 2008

Mitt Romney always said he wanted to run America like a business. Which, from his
history, could have meant firing the whole lot of us and moving our jobs off-shore. Fortunately, he fired himself.

February 5, 2008

You know, I don't care if it's Hillary or Barack. I'd be proud to lose with either of these two candidates.

February 4, 2008

Inside Cable News reports that Karl Rove is joining Fox News. In an official capacity. As opposed to his unofficial status of the last seven years.

February 1, 2008

What can you say about Mike Huckabee that hasn’t already been said about day old road kill spread across all three lanes of I-40?