December 28, 2005 President Bush has taken to calling the Iraqi insurgents “Saddamists,” a homonym for sodomists.

December 28, 2005

President Bush has taken to calling the Iraqi insurgents “Saddamists,” a homonym for sodomists. Leading to a certain amount of apprehension when it's announced “Saddamists are poised for an assault.”

December 27, 2005

The week after Christmas is when you find discarded gifts listed on Ebay. I keep hoping to find Bush’s Iraq policy up there some day.

December 26, 2005

Here’s hoping Washington, DC, had a Wizard of Oz Christmas. Bush got a brain. Cheney got a heart. And Democrats found the courage to stand up to the two of them under the tree.

December 23, 2005

American forces have released Dr. Germ and Mrs. Anthrax in Baghdad. Apparently, we’ve extracted as much information and vaccine from them as we’re going to get.

December 22, 2005

Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska has added an amendment to allow oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to the military appropriations bill. Which is like adding roofing nails to a milk shake.

December 21, 2005

Why are we so busy taking God out of Iraqi Democracy and putting him into American Democracy? Maybe there’s only so much god Democracy can take.

December 20, 2005

Bush says he was misled by faulty intelligence. DNA is a bitch.

December 19, 2005

The President vows to continue his program of domestic spying. Apparently Pogo was right: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”

December 16, 2005

Our torture stance is very simple. We don’t torture people. Never have. Never will. We just don’t want to rule it out.

December 15, 2005

The voting in Iraq is going well. For one day, purple fore fingers are out numbering the extended middle ones.

December 14, 2005

Senator Bill Frist has threatened to strip Democrats of the power of filibuster if they try to use it. In other words, they can have it, as long as they don’t use it. Loses a bit of its usefulness that way.

December 13, 2005

Pretty inspirational seeing Iraqi voters defying death to go to the polls. In America, a light drizzle will affect turnout.

December 12, 2005

On Condoleezza Rice’s torture sales tour of Europe, her theme was: “We don’t torture people, but you know what, it works.” The Queen of mixed messages.

December 9, 2005

Initial estimates for the George W. Bush Presidential Library at Southern Methodist University are around 100 million dollars. Seems like a lot of money for a shelf.

December 8, 2005

Congress gave itself a $3,100 pay raise without having to vote on it. We can’t even trust these guys when they do nothing.

December 6, 2005

President Bush released a “Plan For Victory” in Iraq. Apparently the three-year lease on the “Plan For Abject Failure” finally ran out.

December 5, 2005

President Bush says he has a strategy for victory. You know what? So do the Chicago Cubs. Every spring. Custer had a strategy too.

December 2, 2005

The Pope has banned a South American singer active in distributing condoms for an anti- AIDS campaign from performing at the Vatican. Nice to know the Pope is pro-AIDS. Merry Christmas everybody.

December 1, 2005

A British man invented a device that projects an annoying tone that only youths under 20 can hear. And no, it's not called Paris Hilton.