Posted by Anonymous on October 24, 2011

I’ve had a major recurrence of my Bush Tourette Syndrome*. At its peak, it was debilitating. Once when I was screaming at then-somehow-President George W. Bush on TV, a friend’s three-year-old, terrified by my outburst and very, very bad language, pleaded softly, “Please use your inside voice.”

My doctors had warned me of a recurrence.

Nevertheless I am shocked by its virulence. It has been flaring up during the World Series, this year between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Texas Rangers.

Both teams are young, scrappy, never-say-die and fun to watch. It’s not that.

It starts whenever the camera flashes on a Texas Ranger warming up in the on-deck circle. Over his right shoulder, slightly obscured by fencing, I spot a catatonically still Laura Bush with a twitching George next to her. Once after some nifty Ranger play the camera caught Bush smirkily high-fiving Ranger owner, Nolan Ryan.

Uncontrollable screaming seized me, veins popping out my neck, spittle hitting the flat screen.

Spitting is a big part of baseball but since this is a family website, I won’t give you my rant’s full rendition. Here is the gist: Why is George Bush having such a swell life for himself? Why is he not in jail?

*In using the descriptive “Bush” I mean no insult to anyone with Tourette syndrome.

If you liked this article by Kate Clinton, a columnist for The Progressive magazine, check out some of her other pieces by clicking here.